Do you ever look for someone to blame when something goes wrong with your finances? Or maybe you feel like you’d be further ahead if things could be just a little bit different?
Blame is not about understanding what happened and why; it is about making the other person responsible. Blame makes them less and takes you off the hook.
Do you ever:
- Think your debt is not your fault
- Feel your partner is responsible for your financial situation
- Blame your parents for not teaching you about money
- Feel hopeless when it comes to changing your finances
- Think someone else controls your finances
- Help others when you should be helping yourself (martyr)
You are the only thing holding you back. Instead of placing the blame on others; here are a few ways you can start to look at yourself.
Look at your mindset
Your thoughts can either propel you forward or keep you stuck. How you think about yourself and the opportunities presented to you will determine the direction you’ll go in. Become aware of your thoughts. It will help you shift your mindset. Spend a day listening to what’s going on upstairs. What is your mind chatter saying to you? What story are you playing to yourself over and over again about your finances and the world around you?
When you have a negative or unproductive thought be aware of it, let it go and then choose another thought in its place. For example, if you’re constantly thinking “I have so much debt I’m never going to pay it off” instead say “I’m grateful I’m aware of what needs to change.” “What would it take for me to pay off my debt?” or “I’m taking the steps necessary to pay off my debt.”
Get clear on what you want
In a world with so many options, it’s important to invest time in creating a clear path for what it is you really want. Setting goals and breaking them down into actionable steps will help you stay on track. Knowing what you want to create with your life will give you clear direction. Spend some time in reflection (meditate, exercise and relax).
Knowing what you want means you won’t look to blame someone else because you’ll know exactly where you want to go.
If your 5-year goal is to save $25,000 you know you need to save $5,000/year. You’ll need to take action to make that happen. You’ll start a budget, set up an automatic deposit, save every $5 bill you receive whatever works for you as long as you’re clear with what you want to accomplish.
Take responsibility for your life
We all want to understand the reason behind something bad happening in our life. A lot of times we blame someone else to avoid looking at ourselves and things that need to change. If you’re blaming someone for your situation it’s time to look in the mirror and take responsibility.
Let’s say you have debt, find a way to pay it off. Maybe you’re a habitual spender, create a budget where every penny is accounted for. Perhaps you’re not earning enough money, look for ways to earn extra money on the side.
There is always a way if you’re willing to do the work and make a change.
Look at the relationships you have with the people around you. Do these people inspire you and build you up? Blame is toxic and makes everyone defensive. If you’ve been blaming someone for your financial situation look for ways to set healthy boundaries and improve communication. Notice where you default to blame with certain people and where you can do better.
Blame makes you a victim and takes you out of the driver’s seat. Recognizing that you’re blaming someone is the first step to changing your habits. Make yourself accountable by keeping your choices in alignment with what you want to create with your life. If you’re not able to immediately make a change then start to shift it by thinking about it differently.
Ask yourself what you can do to make your situation better. There will be circumstances in your life that are out of your control but how you deal with them is in your control.
No one wins with the blame game so stop playing!
Have you ever blamed someone else for your financial situation? Leave your comments below.
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